


Waking Up

by tectonic



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Dom/sub, Drugged Sex, Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Male Homosexuality, One Shot, One-Sided Relationship, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), POV First Person, Tragic Romance, Unconscious Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 07:17:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19371919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tectonic/pseuds/tectonic
Summary: This was the reason I was here. I didn’t like to be roofied, I hated the disinterest he had for me in conversation, but I lived for his kisses. I was insatiable for those and I despised being unconscious for most of them.





	Waking Up

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me as I was daydreaming and I decided to write it down without really planning where I was going with it. The storyline is left a bit vague on purpose and I hope it allowed you to make up parts of the story as you see fit. I describe the characters looks a few times, but only bits and pieces so feel free to imagine this as whichever pairing you'd like.  
> This story is mainly smut and angst, the best combination in my opinion.

A slight feeling of dread rolled through me as I listened to the sound of him pouring me a drink. It was as if my subconscious was attempting to spare me from something. From him. As if sensing my brooding from across the room, he turned his head to look at me. His eyes looked brighter than usual, in stark contrast to his olive dark skin. 

“Are you in a mood today?” He asked once he’d turned his head back around to the drink he was pouring. This amused him, clearly.

“No… Just a bit beside myself I think. I finished reading a book today so…” I murmured and adjusted in my seat.

“And it had a sad ending?” He asked as he joined me at the table, handing me one of the expensive whiskey glasses, half filled with a golden liquid. It had been a while since we’d done this at his house and not in a hotel room. When we first starting doing this, it was so different. Maybe we’d do it the old way this time.

“Hey… You’re zoning out.” his words brought me back from my reminiscing and I chuckled nervously. 

“Sorry… No, it was bittersweet.” I said and he raised an eyebrow in question. “The ending… of the book, it was bittersweet.” I clarified and he hummed, while taking a sip from his glass.

“What are we drinking tonight?” I asked and leaned back in my chair, looking down into the glass. 

“Oh, the usual.” He mumbled. I could tell he was watching me and it made my skin burn hot. I bet he was thinking of all the things he was going to do to me. Maybe he’d tie me up and have his way with me like that. Or he’d press himself against me lovingly, whispering sweet things against my skin. I wasn’t sure what he preferred anymore. I hoped I’d remember some of it this time. The last few times, he’d spiked my drinks too much for my liking, leaving me unconscious before he’d even gotten me fully undressed. He used to talk to me a lot, back before the drugging started. He’d tell me what he was doing, what it made him feel, what he needed me to do for him. I was always quiet, and always obedient. That’s what made it difficult for me to understand. I’m not sure why he felt the need to incapacitate me, when I always did whatever he told me to do anyway. Was he really doing things that were so shameful that he couldn’t let me remember?

“It was little strong last time…” I murmured as I took my first sip. I wanted to go slow with it tonight. Perhaps he’d let me be awake for some of it. That’s the least he could do for me. I had better things to do, or at least more responsible things to do. 

“I know… It’s not as strong this time, don’t worry.” He said, still watching me very carefully.

“What are you staring at me for…” I said, after mustering up enough courage to meet his gaze. He smiled a little and I couldn’t help but smile too. He looked far too young when he smiled. Far too young to be doing this anyway. His curly hair was a mess as usual, a result of his ambiguous ethnicity. 

“You’re beautiful.” He said and without giving me time to thank him or reciprocate the compliment, he stood up and extended a hand for me to take. That was my cue and I took a large swig of my drink. There was still a third of the drink left in the bottom of the glass and in a moment of hesitation I looked up at him, silently asking. He moved closer to touch the side of my face, a gentle and loving touch. 

“Finish your drink baby.” His thumb was brushing the lobe of my ear and I felt embarrassed that I had even hesitated. Once I’d finished my drink, I stood up to meet him in his embrace and his hands were swift as he undressed me from my clothes. I undressed him from his shirt and pants impatiently, knowing I didn’t have much time before I’d start feeling lightheaded. He pulled me in for a kiss by the back of my neck and I felt like melting into his touches. He tasted like alcohol, as I’m sure I did too. The kiss was gentle and as it so often did, it felt like a goodbye. 

His hands slipped to rest on my shoulders and he gently guided me to get on my knees. This was a bit disappointing to me, as I would’ve preferred to kiss him for a bit longer, but I didn’t object. I knew he loved this. I could tell he always felt powerful like this, with me on my knees with his firm hand in my hair, guiding me with ease. I was already feeling lightheaded, from both the drugs, the alcohol and the excitement. My fingers pulled at the hem of his underwear, pulling them down slowly. I was eager to be obedient and as soon as I’d wrapped my lips around the head of his cock, I let him push my mouth down further. The tip of my nose brushed the light hairs at the base and I let out a muffled moan as I focused on relaxing my throat. He began to roll his hips slow and steady, watching me, sliding himself in and out of my wet mouth with a soothing rhythm. With others I’d always been hesitant to show this kind of vulnerability, this kind of desperation, but with him it only felt natural to be this sexual and submissive being. I knew he was grateful for it, and so I found no shame in it. At least not in the moment. 

“You’re so good to me baby…” He hummed as he released his grip on my hair and instead grabbed the base of his cock. I tilted my head back and pulled out my tongue, no doubt looking filthy. This seemed to be an enjoyable sight for him and he let the head of his cock rest heavily on my tongue for a moment. I started to feel weary now, and the familiar heavy sensation in my limbs started to spread. As he pulled back, I blinked my eyes open to find my vision slightly hazy around the edges. 

“Come on, let’s get you on the bed.” He said softly, and guided me to where he wanted me. I lay on my back, naked and painfully aroused, wishing I could stay awake to experience this. Just this once. The bed moved as he climbed over me, and startled me slightly, as I found that my eyes had slipped shut. I forced myself to focus my vision as he hovered above me and leaned in to kiss me once again. His lips were more insistent this time, making me part my own to follow his lead. Our tongues met and I felt a deep pang of affection for him. In these moments I knew I loved him and that I would never love anyone the same. And in these moments, I was completely fine with that. This was the reason I was here. I didn’t like to be roofied, I hated the disinterest he had for me in conversation, but I lived for his kisses. I was insatiable for those and I despised being unconscious for most of them.

“I don’t wan-… Don’t wanna-…” I mumbled against his lips and he moved to kiss down my neck. He hummed in question, feigning any interest in what I was attempting to say.

“Don’t wanna sleep… this time…” I managed to say with a heavy sigh and without the ability to fully control myself, I felt my eyes beginning to burn slightly with tears. In the haze, I couldn’t make out his expression, but I felt him watching me, perhaps with a look of worry. I felt a touch on my cheek, the warmth of his palm heavy on my skin. I felt like he could crush me.

“Just sleep baby, I’m here…” a soothing voice murmured in my ear, but it sounded as though he was miles away. I knew I couldn’t fight the darkness that had crept up on me, so I just let it go and allowed myself to fall into a deep, dreamless state of unconsciousness. It was always a very peaceful feeling, falling asleep with the scent of him surrounding me, and the taste of him lingering on my tongue. Bittersweet.

 

***

 

I woke up the next day feeling like absolute shit. My head was hurting and I could practically feel my body, organs and all, attempting to cleanse my body of whatever he’d put in it. My stomach felt painfully empty, and my throat was dry. Opening my eyes, I was surprised to find the curtains slightly stained by orange sunlight. It was disorienting. Was it afternoon? I lifted my head and turned to take in my surroundings. He wasn’t here. I scrambled lazily to find my phone, and frowned as I looked at the time. It was almost five in the afternoon, why hadn’t he woken me up? Perhaps he wasn’t home and in that case, I probably was expected to be gone when he came back. I didn’t want to be here when he came home. I wasn’t about to put myself in an awkward and emotionally taxing situation like that, if it could be avoided. 

With a bit of a struggle with my balance, I managed to take a shower without injuring myself. I paused for moment, to glance at my reflection in the mirror, pushing my wet hair back to reveal my face. I looked harrowed. My usually tan skin was pale, making every freckle and beauty mark appear much more saturated. Dark circles loomed underneath my slightly reddened eyes and I blinked slowly. He’d left bruises on me, a few light blue ones on my neck. 

After drying up and getting dressed in last nights clothes, I stepped out of the bedroom and into the large corridor. His house was huge and had I never been here before, I would’ve gotten lost for sure. Technically it wasn’t his house, it was his mothers, but she was hardly ever home. I’d never met her. Sometimes though, there’d be the odd cleaning lady or maid. For fear of running into someone, I walked quietly, listening for footsteps or any voices. It was extraordinarily quiet and I figured I was probably home alone. Walking past the archway into the kitchen, I stopped to consider if I had time to eat something. Nothing big, just an apple or perhaps some cereal. Some coffee maybe. My stomach seemed to agree with the sound of that, so I decided I’d just be quick about it. Standing in the kitchen, I felt as though I had grown smaller somehow. The countertops felt massive, as if the went on for miles and as I poured myself a cup of coffee, the mug felt like it was made for somebody twice my size. My hands were shaking a little and I could faintly hear the sound of my blood rushing through my veins. Part of me knew to hurry up, but I started to imagine what would happen if he showed up before I’d gotten around to leaving. What would he say? Perhaps we would have an actual conversation and maybe he’d give me a kiss goodbye before I left. A small smile found its way to my lips as I imagined his hand on my waist as he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. 

The driveway was long and the asphalt was warm underneath the soles of my shoes. The sunlight was bright orange, lighting up everything with a warm glow. My legs carried me towards the gate guarding the property, but before I made it over there I was startled as the gate began to pull open, making a loud noise of metal clanking together. I paused in my tracks and instantly cursed myself for not leaving sooner. For a flicker of a second, I considered hiding behind a bush or a tree, but his car was already driving past the gate. I cleared my throat as his car pulled up next to me and the window rolled down. It was weird seeing him like this, and I felt uncomfortable, like I’d been caught doing something I wasn’t allowed to do. I was quick to apologize.

“I’m sorry I’m only leaving now, I only woke up about 10 minutes ago.” I said before he could even open his mouth, and he instead smiled gently.

“Hey, don’t apologize, it’s alright.” He said and I stopped myself from apologizing again, and instead silenced and waited for him to dismiss me. 

“Have you had anything to eat?” He asked, looking straight ahead, through his windshield. I was quiet for a moment.

“No, not really.” I said. Technically that was true, I’d only had a cup of coffee.

“Right… Do you have anywhere you need to be? If not, we could have some dinner or something. Whatever you’d like.” He turned to look at me again, and this time I had to turn away.

“Sure, I don’t have- I don’t have any plans.” I replied and felt myself getting giddy against my better judgment. He smiled and nodded.

“Alright, why don’t you just go back inside, and I’ll go park.” He said and I nodded. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this, but I was just happy that he wanted my company. I brushed off the thoughts I had that were telling me that he was just offering this out of pity or guilt. If it made the both of us feel better, why deny ourselves that?

 

***

 

Watching him cook, was far more erotic than I had expected it to be. Perhaps it was me being deprived, but I’d never seen him cook before and it was mesmerizing. He was swift and confident in what he was doing and seemed to know this particular dish by heart. It was a dish of oven baked vegetables and some steaks he just happened to have in his fridge. I didn’t ask why he had two, in fact I barely said a word. I sat on a stool by the bar and watched, smiling whenever we made eye contact. I kept trying to think of something to say, but I wasn’t sure what. I didn’t want to say something stupid or ask him something boring. He didn’t have much patience for that kind of thing. Besides, he’d told me before that he liked how quiet I was. How it was nice compared to everyone else he meets who never seem to stop talking. We also ate mostly in silence, sitting at the massive dining table. 

“Where have you been today?” I asked quietly, breaking the silence. For me the silence felt tense, like a bunch of words were just lingering in the air around us, waiting to be said. I’m not sure he felt the same way, as he seemed content just enjoying his food and daydreaming. As I spoke, his eyes flickered back to me, and he seemed to be pulled back into the present. 

“I went to see my mom.” He replied softly after a painfully long moment of contemplation. I nodded instantly and looked down at the plate. Another long silence followed, and I felt like he was looking at me. It made me uncomfortable, and I felt my cheeks blushing at the attention.

“How is she?” I asked, voice even quieter than before, and met his eyes again. He shrugged. 

“She’s alright. Still a busy woman.” He said and then glanced at his glass of water. “Would you like some wine?” He asked. The thought of any type of alcohol, made me feel a bit queasy, but part of me wanted something to help me relax a bit more. Being sober and wide awake around him was exhausting. 

“Uh, yes please.” I replied softly and he got up to go pick out a bottle of wine. Soon he returned with a bottle of red wine with a name I didn’t bother to take notice of, and two wine glasses. He poured us both a glass and as he took his first sip, I hesitated slightly.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t put anything in it.” He joked softly and I blushed at the implication. 

“No, I know, I just-… I know.” I stuttered and took a sip. Though I wasn’t a wine extraordinaire by any means, I could tell it was a good wine and probably quite expensive. 

“It’s good isn’t it… My mom has them sent all the way from France. It’s her favorite.” He explained as he circled his wine around the glass. It was the first time I’d seen someone do it unironically. I nodded with interest and tasted it once again.

“It’s the wine her and my dad had on their first date, I think. He used to say it was a love potion and would let you win anyone’s heart." He said and smiled. "Seems like it worked for him.” He added. A warm feeling spread through my body and I nodded again.

“It’s very good.” I hummed and met his eyes that had a look in them I hadn’t seen in a while. It was tender.

“Do you think it’s working? Does it make you feel some type of way?” He asked and I could hardly bear it. He didn’t have to say much to make me melt, and I could tell he was very well aware of that. Slowly, I took another sip and raised my eyebrows.

“Are you sure you didn’t put anything in this?” I giggled and he smiled wider.

“Nothing at all.” He hummed and finished his glass in one swig, before pouring himself another one.

 

***

 

Soon we’d finished dinner, and had worked our way through most of the wine, leaving both of us more talkative than usual. We went the living room, sitting next to each other on the couch, with our refilled wine glasses. He was flirting with me, and I was trying not to act too excited about all of this attention. Part of me wanted to challenge him a bit and not feed into his ego too much, but it was difficult. It used to be a lot easier. Back when we first met, it had taken a while for me to warm up to him, and he’d had a bit of a challenge on his hands, trying to seduce me. I was better at talking back, because I didn’t know just how addicted to him I would become. Once I’d gotten a taste, it became more difficult to play hard to get, and by now it was damn near impossible. Anything he gave me, I would take instantly, and he knew I would never turn him down. Part of me knew that I should assert myself, but I was afraid he would just cut me off and find someone else who was willing to give in completely. The thought of him being with someone else, completely destroyed me, and if I thought about it for too long, I’d start tearing up. 

It had gotten quite late and he had put a movie on, but neither of us were really paying attention to it. Instead he would ask me things and then ask me to elaborate, very invested in what I had to say, much to my surprise. My gut feeling was telling me that he was just pretending to be interested, in order to get in my pants again, but I didn’t really mind. We were sitting close to each other and in a moment of silence, as we both turned our attention to the tv screen, I felt his arm wrapping around my shoulder and pulling me closer. I smiled a little and enjoyed the embrace, letting him pet my shoulder absentmindedly. After a moment, he turned his head to look at me and leaned in to kiss my temple softly. I turned my head to face him, and he looked at me with a slightly darkened look in his eyes. 

“You know… I would drive you home, but I’m afraid I’ve had a bit too much to drink to do that. I can call you a cab if you want. Or you could spend the night here if you’d like.” He murmured softly, his warm breath rich with the smell of red wine hitting my face. I let my gaze fall to his lips as he talked and I could feel his grip on me tightening slightly, turning me on more than I cared to admit.

“I think I’d like to spend the night here, if that’s okay.” I replied quietly and he nodded slightly, humming in agreement. 

“That’s perfect baby.” He murmured and a rush of arousal went through me. He only ever called me that when we were in bed together, and the associations I had with that word, made me begin to slip into a submissive mindset instantly. With the arm wrapped around me, he pulled me in and I moved closer, halfway onto his lap. His lips found mine instantly and soon he was dominating the kiss, both his hands moving to my hips, where he pulled me closer to fully straddle him and pressing the growing bulges in our pants together. I moaned softly into his mouth, as his hands ran down to grab my ass. His movements were rough, but painfully slow, pulling my hips in hard, to grind on his lap and taking his sweet time pressing his tongue to mine. The wine had dulled my senses a little bit, but I was more lucid than I had been in a long time, and it felt incredible to feel him this intensely. His hands moved from my ass, to the hem of my shirt and I broke the kiss to allow him to pull it over my head. I went to kiss him again, but he stopped me with a hand on my chest and bit his lower lip thoughtfully. 

“Grind on me baby.” He purred and I licked my lips slowly as I obliged. Slowly and teasingly I began to move my hips in circles, letting our clothed erections move along each other. He watched me with a lustfilled gaze and his hands rested on my thighs, which he’d squeeze hard every time I pressed myself harder down onto him. Soon he began undoing the zipper on my jeans a bit impatiently. 

“Take all your clothes off baby, I want to see you.” He ordered and I instantly did as I was told and stood up to undress. He scooted out to sit on the edge of the couch, and once I’d kicked off the trousers along with my underwear, he pulled me closer by the hips and pressed soft kisses to my tummy. I shivered slightly, my cock almost fully erect right underneath his chin, and I put my hands in his hair to pull him closer. He hummed and without a second thought, he took me in his mouth, causing a shiver to run up spine. I moaned a bit louder, the wet warmth of his mouth feeling almost too good. I was afraid I would orgasm then and there and after only a few seconds, I had to stop him.

“I-It’s too good… Too much…” I said breathily and he pulled back and hummed, looking up at me. He scooted back on the couch, and pulled me with him. I climbed onto his lap once again, this time fully naked, while he was still wearing his trousers. I continued grinding on his lap, whimpering at the feeling. He was beyond sexy, letting me do all the work and just watching me intently. I hadn’t felt this dominated ever before, just waiting for him to allow me to undress him, to have him inside of me.

“Do you want to ride me baby?” He hummed and I nodded quickly, still rolling my hips without even thinking about it.

“Yes, please…” I breathed softly and his large hands squeezed my hips once again. He then grabbed my hands and placed them on the button of his trousers and that was all the cue I needed. With slightly clumsy fingers, I undid his trousers and reluctantly got out of his lap in order to pull his pants down. He kicked them off impatiently and we both giggled a bit. I got on my knees in front of the couch and put my hands on his thighs. One of his hands found its way to my hair, running his fingers through the strands before finding a place to clutch onto. It was a rough touch, but it was reassuring and I leaned in to grab his cock by the base and licking a stripe all the way from the root to the tip before taking it in my mouth. He groaned lowly and I arched my back almost instinctually to the sound, pulling back to spit onto it. He pulled me down again roughly, and forced my face down further and further, making me gag slightly. He let me off for air, but left me no time to collect myself, before he forced me down again. I could feel myself growing rock hard and for a moment I wondered if I would orgasm just from this. I looked up to meet his gaze whenever I could, and he looked so incredibly hot like this.

“That’s it baby… Do you like that?” He purred lowly as he pulled me off to breathe.

“Yeah” I panted and licked my lips. He watched me for a moment, probably admiring how wrecked I looked already and he smiled a little. 

“You’re beautiful like this.” He said, his hand dropping from where it had been holding onto my hair, and instead grabbing my chin. He pressed his thumb into my mouth and I hummed, wrapping my lips around it and sucking gently. He tilted his head slightly and watched and that was my favorite part. I loved having him watching me like this. I felt more beautiful than ever when he looked at me. He pulled his hand back, leaving my mouth empty and slightly ajar, and I watched him expectantly. He looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Do you want me to wear protection baby?” He murmured softly, petting my cheek. I hadn’t really expected that and I just shrugged slightly.

“Do-… Do you usually wear that?” I asked, my voice quite rough at this point. A look of shame brushed across his features for a second and he looked sheepish as he replied.

“No, I don’t” He responded and watched me, waiting for a reaction. I knew I probably should be a bit upset by that. Before the whole drugging thing began happening, we’d always use protection. I had been quite adamant about it then. I would be lying if I said it didn’t upset me that he’d completely disregarded that as soon as I wasn’t conscious to protest. 

“Well… Are you sleeping with anybody else?” I asked, not able to help the slight emotion in my voice. He furrowed his eyebrows slowly, clearly not pleased with that question, making my heart beat a bit harder in my chest.

“… Do you really want to know the answer to that?” He said, and a painful pang of sadness went through me. I blinked a few times and looked down, swallowing around the lump in my throat.

“It doesn’t matter.” I said after a while, attempting to sound as emotionless as possible. I probably didn’t succeed very well, judging by the worried look on his face. Before he could speak I crawled up, back onto his lap, his eyes following me expectantly.

“Are you sure?” He asked, quietly this time, but he was distracted as I reached down between our bodies and began to jerk him off slowly. I just nodded a little and then spat into my hand, wetting him up as much as possible. I leaned in to kiss him deeply, and he met the kiss with an equal hardness. His hands found my thighs again and he caressed them slowly as I continued to run both my hands up and down his shaft. He broke the kiss and wet two of his finger in his mouth before reaching around and beginning to circle my hole slowly. He didn’t wait for permission, before pushing in the first finger and I tried not to wince at the slight pain. Instead I pushed back onto his finger, soon both fingers, and moaned softly. There was still a sharp pain ringing in my chest from what he had said, and I needed to be distracted and not think about it. My possessiveness was telling me that I needed to have him now. I needed him to be all mine just for tonight, his hands only on me, his lips only on me, his eyes only on me. A bit quicker than I should’ve, I moved to line up with his dick, and his hands moved back to rest on my thighs. He watched intently, his cheeks burning red as I slowly lowered myself onto the head of his cock, and whimpered softly. One of his hands came up to rest on my throat, squeezing it slightly and then running back down, leaving a trail of burning sensation wherever his hand had touched me. I soon was fully seated in his lap, feeling him all the way inside me, and I could barely handle it. Impatiently, he bucked his hips slightly and I winced sharply and moved to stop him. 

“Wait…” I breathed and he bit his lower lip, clearly not happy with having to wait. He never had to wait for anything. Partially I needed him to slow down because I had to adjust, but the other part of me liked the feeling of the tiny bit of control I had regained. Denying him his immediate gratification, was beyond satisfying. Slowly and in my own rhythm, I began to roll my hips, almost letting his cock slip out of me, only to take it all in once again. I moaned deeply at the feeling, and I could feel his nails digging into my skin, as he tried to contain himself from thrusting up into me. I leaned back and steadied myself with my hands behind me on his legs and began riding him, still painfully slow. He let out a guttural sound at the sight, his hand grabbing my thighs, pulling me down harder every time. It felt like a slight struggle for power as I would slow down even more, the more he pulled at me, and he quickly figured it out and groaned in frustration. After a moment of this, I leaned forward again and started riding him a bit faster. We were both panting softly, and I could tell his fingers were going to leave bruises from how hard he was holding onto me. It felt amazing to be fucked like this. That was probably what he was doing to me every time he drugged me, but I never remembered any of it. All I ever had to show for it, was soreness, or hickeys in the most questionable places the next day. It had been months since I’d been able to experience it, and it felt incredible. 

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close to his chest and before I was able to protest, he began thrusting up into me, harder and faster. I let out a deep moan, whimpering slightly, and halfheartedly trying to push away from him, but instead I suddenly felt myself being flipped onto my back in the couch. I gasped slightly in surprise but once again, I had no time to respond, before he was over me again, this time grabbing me by the back of my knees and fucking me hard into the couch. I cried out in pleasure and watched him as he claimed me, roughly and with no hint of worry. His hands ran all over my body, down to my hips where he gripped hard, making every thrust come in deeper. 

I bet this was what he did to me when I was drugged. I bet he fucked me in every position he could away with, knowing I would just take it. The thought of that, however fucked up it was, turned me on like crazy and I moaned his name desperately. My feeble attempts at regaining dominance by pushing slightly at his chest, caused him to huff slightly and grab my wrists roughly and pinning them down above my head. He kept fucking me, the sound of our bodies moving together, making me whimper slightly. He was relentless and despite my struggles against the restraint of his hands, he didn’t seem to take much notice. Instead his gaze was moving between my face, and down to where our bodies met. Occasionally he would slow down and push in as deep as he could go, angling his hips just right and he looked so satisfied with himself whenever I moaned a little louder. My orgasm had been fighting for release for a long time, and I could barely contain it much longer. 

“I-I need to…” I breathed and he thrusted extra hard. 

“Need to what baby?” He purred, leaning in to kiss me passionately. “Do you want to cum baby?” He breathed and I nodded quickly.

“Yes… Yes please…” I panted and he hummed. He fucked me harder and with every thrust, I could feel the orgasm coming closer. He moaned louder and louder, his face right above mine, his lips pressing kisses on my jaw and down my neck. Finally with a roaring wave of pleasure, I came untouched between our bodies, my body jerking slightly and my breath getting caught in my throat. For a moment, my mind was blank from anything but my orgasm and all I cared about was for him to keep fucking me. And he didn’t disappoint. He kept a steady rhythm, moaning softly as he watched me throw my head back in pleasure.

“Good boy…” He hummed in my ear and let go of my wrists, and moved to a more upright position so he could look at the mess I’d made. I opened my eyes slowly, whimpering as he continued to fuck me, slowly but deeply. I watched as he reached down to run his fingers over the cum on my tummy and he bit his lip wickedly as he reached up, pressing those fingers against my lips. “Have a taste baby…” He hummed and I obliged once again, opening my mouth and letting his fingers in. I sucked his fingers slowly and he groaned, picking up his pace again. He began fucking me harder once again, as I laid there mostly dazed out from my orgasm. I kept moaning and whimpering and I let him kiss me and bite my neck, whatever he wanted. Soon he was moaning too, groaning as his orgasm hit him, and he thrusted in all the way, coming deep inside of me while moaning loudly. He rode out his orgasm and I laid there, just panting softly and watching him with hooded eyes. His hair was messier than usual, and his lips were slightly swollen from the rough kissing. The muscles in his arms and his chest were more defined, no doubt pumped full of adrenaline. We kissed again, lazy and sloppy this time, and not as rough as before. He took his sweet time with pulling out, and I didn’t mind. It felt a little strange as I could feel his cum, slowly beginning to drop out of me, and for a moment I wondered why he wasn’t worried about staining the couch. Nothing in this house was cheap and the couch certainly wasn’t an exception.

I didn’t want to think about what he had said earlier, about sleeping with other people, but I wasn’t able to bask in my orgasm for long before I felt the dread pooling in my stomach again. He crawled back and sat on the couch, still panting, his hand resting on my thigh. For a moment he sat there catching his breath, his eyes wandering across my body. My eyes were closed and I hummed as he slowly began to caress my thigh. His fingers made their way downwards and just as I wondered what he was doing I felt his finger slipping inside of me. He began to finger me slowly and I whined softly, frowning a bit. He smiled at that, and pushed another finger in, going in deeper.

“No… No more…” I breathed and reached down to push his hand away. He hummed softly and leaned in to kiss my inner thigh. He didn’t give up and just continued to finger me, curling his fingers inside of me and using his own cum as lubricant. I groaned and moved to sit up, but he was quicker then me and moved to loom over me and instead held me down. I looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, but didn’t protest, besides whimpering a bit. I was overly sensitive now, and though it felt good, it was an almost painful overstimulation. 

“I can’t do it again…” I whimpered and he leaned down to press a soft kiss onto my lips. 

“Yes you can baby…” He hummed and continued fingering me. I whimpered and it was all a little overwhelming. It was frustrating that he didn’t listen to me and I started to tear up once again. He didn’t react until I sniffled slightly and then covered my face as I failed to stop the bubble of sobs that escaped my throat. I couldn’t hold it in and he paused and stopped what he was doing. For a moment I cried quietly into my hands, unable to stop myself. He reached up to grab my wrists and gently pull my hands from my face. I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to upset him or disappoint him, but all of a sudden a lot of emotion had washed over me. Perhaps this was feelings I’d denied myself from feeling, all boiling over at once. 

“Hey, no, don’t cry…” He said quietly, hushing he softly and wiped my tears away with his thumb. “Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” He asked, and I felt even more frustrated with his ignorance, making me cry harder. He had idea how miserable all of this was making me feel. He never bothered to ask me about anything in my life that wasn’t him. Everything in my life was put on pause for him. My friendships, my family, my job, my chances at an actual relationship. He never asked about any of this, and I never told him. I didn’t want to sound like I was too attached to him. 

He petted my hair softly and kissed my tears away, letting me cry for a while. Clearly he didn’t have a clue what was going on and a thought occurred to me. Why was I so in love with this guy? He was a completely different person when we met. Or perhaps I was. I’d changed so much for him, and now I hated who I had become. I knew I should’ve told him that, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Once I’d regained control of myself, I managed to stop the sobbing. Instead I was sniffling softly, taking deep breaths. When I looked at him again, he smiled slightly, clearly worried. I sighed and wiped my eyes.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know what just happened.” I murmured, my voice sore and weak. “Might’ve been the red wine, I don’t know…” I added and he nodded slowly, not quite convinced.

“I’m sorry if I took it too far.” He apologized gently and petted my cheek. “Let’s get cleaned up and go to bed, okay?” He hummed and sat up slowly, helping me up too. 

 

***

 

After a quick shower, I followed him to his room. Usually when I came over, we’d go to a guest room, but this time I’d get to sleep in his bed. I’d only done that back in the very beginning almost 2 years ago. I borrowed som underwear and he pulled at the covers that had been neatly folded, no doubt by a maid, and crawled into bed. I went to crawl in, but hesitated for a moment. He looked at me questioningly, his arm extended and ready to invite me into his embrace. I crawled over and pressed a soft kiss onto his lips. He kissed me back, but I could feel that the spark he’d had before was missing, and it was almost painful enough to make me cry again. With a sigh, I pulled back.

"I think I'll get a glass of water... Do you want one?" I asked softly and he shrugged.

"Uh... Yeah, why not." He said and I nodded before crawling back out of bed and headed to the kitchen to retrieve some glasses. Soon I returned with two glasses of cold water and he reached out to accept it from me. 

"Thank you" He hummed and took a sip. I watched him over the brim of the glass, curiously. He looked as though he was about to speak.

"You know... I don't think you're gonna like this but... I thought we should talk about it." He started, looking down into his glass of water. Once again I prepared myself for heartbreak, and just nodded slowly.

"I'm not sure what you expect from me... relationship wise or... Sexually. I know what we did tonight was different from what we usually do... And it was nice, it was really nice." He said, reaching out to rest a hand on my knee. I could already feel the ball of anxiety forming in my chest, afraid of what he might say next. I was afraid he would break it off with me. In one way, life would be much simpler and I could finally move on, but somehow that just wasn't enough for me. I didn't want my freedom.

"...I just don't want to give you the wrong idea. You know, we've tried the whole relationship thing once and you remember how that turned out." He explained softly. He was being quite patronizing. He was gentle with his wording, treating me like I would break. I looked down in annoyance. Clearly he was waiting for some kind of response and finally I nodded.

"I care about you very much, you know that... But I'm not-... I just don't want you to get too invested in this, you know?" he said and I had to fight the urge to scoff. Instead I lifted my eyes slowly and met his gaze

"Yeah... I don't want a relationship either. I'm happy with just this... Whatever you want to do." I hummed softly and he smiled, beckoning me closer with his hands. I finished my glass of water before scooting closer.

"Finish yours..." I hummed and he smiled before downing the rest and setting the glass aside in order to embrace me fully. 

"Good... I'm glad we both feel the same." He hummed before kissing me again. I could feel him already getting hard again, and I hummed against his lips, straddling him as I'd done before, with him propped against the headboard of the bed. His hands ran down my back and under the hem of my boxers, grabbing handfuls of my ass. As the kiss went on his lips grew a bit sloppier and his firm hands, began to weaken. I pulled away from the kiss and watched him with interest, my hand coming up to caress his cheek.

"Wh-What..." He murmured, looking confused as his eyelids grew heavier. His eyes met mine and he frowned in realisation, glancing over at the empty glass on his bedside table. "What did you.... do..." He breathed, looking afraid. He began to push weakly at my chest, but it didn't take much to restrain him. I hushed him softly and pushed him back to rest against the headboard. As he started to lose consciousness, I leaned in to kiss his neck softly and whisper in his ear.

 

"Just sleep baby... I'm here..."


End file.
